Only in Zambia...

I think I'm becoming so used to living here that nothing really suprises me any more, and I've found myself thinking nothing of incidents which prevoiusly would have had me in fits of laughter on the floor or chucking up in the toilet. There are some conversations I've had over the past few weeks which could only have happened here.

1 - Dog poo turns into plastic. Yes this is really what a fellow Zambian volunteer thinks happens. Gross.

2 - On a morning run a while ago I was stopped by a man and asked to pray for him as he get headaches (a very common complaint here, along with body ache). He says the doctors can't cure it. I suggest he drinks more water, his reation is that I'm a medical genius, followed with profound thanks and God's blessings. I think I'll start charging for such advice.

3 - Over Easter we were sharing a dorm with a witch doctor. Apparently he can cure HIV by 'negociating' with the virus. Unfortunatly he can't cure people on a mass scale as the US and British government would hunt him down and kill him because they've brought too many ARVs. As well as curing HIV he can massage my friend for tiredness (a kind offer she refused) and will pray that I soon fall pregnant. Not quite sure I'm ready for kids but that seems to be beside the point.

4 - Sitting in the staff room one morning before my lessons one of the male teachers walked in with a box a female condoms which had been sent in by another NGO. None of the teachers had ever seen them before, so demanded I opened one and showed them how it works. It was like taking a PSE class full of teenage boys, they were at the same time facinated and shy, with a lot of bloke jokes and condoms being waved about the place, but with about 15 adults who are normally pretty reserved. Half way through the headmistress popped in, looked around at what was going on, stayed to listen for a few minutes and walked out again, and then later congratulated me on teaching the teachers. Still not sure they'll take off here though.

5 - Another staff room conversation quickly developed into a question and answer session on sexual practices in the UK. Here in Zambia condoms are still pretty looked down upon, there are a lot of comments on eating a sweet with the wrapper on. There are a lot of strange sexual practices, many involving herbs and traditional medicine to dry the woman out, and others which seem to be a local version of viagral. It basically came down to explaining that whites like it wet while blacks like it dry, a point they were amazed by. I feel I will never be shy talking to anyone about anything again.

6 - This weekend just gone we ran a peer leader training camp at Mumbwa for 50 pupils from SPW schools in the district. I was put down to run the question and answer session, with 3 other volunteers. There were a lot of questions on sex and masterbastion, which 2 of my fellow volunteers felt necessary to explain with graphic hand movements just as the local Ministry of Education walked in. Classic timing.

7 - White people die from malaria while black people only die from HIV. Apparently a medical fact. From someone who wants to be a doctor.

8 - A missionary family from the States live in the same town as me. Over dinner one night one of the kids asked me 'Have you turned black yet?' Unfortunatly I think most of my tan is actually ingrained dirt

There have been plently of other hilarious and shocking incidents, but if I don't note them down they just seem to be lost in the haze of craziness which is living here, and many of them just become part of everyday normality. But I'm sure there will be many more to come!

Photos from Zambia so far

Women's day with other female teachers from Makasa school.

Cultural dancing at our SPW school event on Child Abuse and Child Rights

Guava bobbing race


Cooking traditional style on my front step - also where the snake came to say hi!

Ants in your pants and other Zambian creepy crawlies...

Yes ants everywhere, not just in my pants (fortunatly not the ones I was wearing though), bedding, shoes, food, buckets. Overnight we somehow had a red ant invasion of our little house. While this caused a minor freak out from both Eunice and me, she knew a Zambian trick if using parafin to get rif them. The place stank, and I feared to light the brazier anywhere in the vicinity, but at least we are now ant free. Worse was to come though. Sitting filtering some water one evening last week I felt something cold on my foot. Not thinking much of it I just glanced down to see... a SNAKE. The bucket of water was thrown across the yard, with me jumping up and down and shaking my foot in the air, shreaking for Eunice to come to the rescue. The boys from nextdoor heard the commotion and came to kill it with some stones. It was pretty scary to think that it had been slithering around just outside our house, and I feel lucky as afterwards one of the boys told me it is quite poisonous, so if it had bitten me I would have had to be rushed to Lusaka. However, apart from snakes, the only scary animals here are chickens, who seem to like living in the strangest of places, including my youth resource bag. I was pretty shocked to fish inside for some leaflets on HIV and to instead find a chicken.

Life in Mumbwa, Zambia is going well and I am quickly settling in to daily routine. Lessons are going well at the two schools I work in. Both are basic schools going up to grade 9, located in rural areas outside the main town. Shimbizhi, the furthest away (about 14km) is right in the middle of the bush, with no apparent village around it, just trees and savannah. The teachers there are lovely though, and always prepare a big meal for us before we treck back home, a good two and a half hours walk if we have to go by foot. In my placement school, Makasa, things are slowly getting underway, although there is a lot of resistance to being involved in programmes on the behalf of teachers. They are mainly friendly (a bit too friendly on some counts, both me and Eunice are being chased by male teachers which is extreemely funny, but slightly annoying), but they don't want to give their time for other clubs and activities, and always expect to recieve something for taking part, which is rather frustrating.

So far this month we have had an event in school, with the theme of child rights and child abuse. Despite being highly stressful for me, having to organize 400 odd pupils, the day went really well. We had each class preparing something on the theme, from drama, poems, stories, dances and cultural performances, which were amazing. The lower grades love dancing, and some of the little ones can really move!

This weekend I went to Kalunda, a village about 45km from Mumbwa, deep in the bush, with a group from the Catholic church here. The Catholic community here is very strong, and I have made lots of friends this way, including being adopted by a Zambian family who invite me to eat frequently and let me chill out on their couch, which is a good break from the concrete floor at home. The village has no electricity, but they are amazingly organized with a kitchen packed with braziers, and even an oven they have built themselves from mud bricks, meaning we were kept well supplied with Zambian scones (which are more like fairy cakes). Everyone was so excited to have me to stay and made me feel very welcome. On Saturday we held some sessions with the youths of the surrounding area, some on the Bible and some on health and HIV, while on Sunday we had mass with a priest from Mumbwa. They only have mass once a year, so it was quite an event.

Other than that I am making connections in the community and finding other areas in which I cab help. At the moment I am involved with a youth group at the hospital and trying to set up a youth friendly corner for young people to come and access information, advice and condoms. I am also starting working for NZP+, a support group for people living with HIV, so that should be really interesting.

So I'm always busy - I thought life in Zambia would be chilled out and at African pace, but I seem to take my busy lifestyle with me everywhere! Next month is a tribal festival close by and then school closes for a month, so I am anxiously waiting the arrival of April to rest a bit and travel more of Zambia - Vic Falls here I come!

Birthday in the Bush

Well, I survive the first two weeks in placement, just, and have made it through all the training, so now I just have the next 7 months in Mumbwa stretching ahead of me.

The first few weeks have been interesting, enlightening, frustrating, stressful and at times mind-numbingly boring. After 6 hours of driving cramped into a mini bus with suitcases, my pack, buckets, sacks of maize and assorted other belongings, accompanied by the ear-splitting singing of my fellow volunteers, we arrived at the small town of Mumbwa. Well more of a large market with a few shops attached.

We were taken to our new home, proudly shown around our one room by our teacher. It has electricity. That is pretty much the only nice thing I can say about it. A light and somewhere to charge my phone and to have an electric ring makes life so much easier (kindly donated by our nextdoor neighbour Aunty Eunice). Apart from that its very small, about 2m x 2m, has a concrete floor with holes where the ants get in, a tin roof that leaks and a door with gaps, where people can come and spy on the white person in bed. The bathroom is a different matter, home to cockroaches and other creepy crawlies and stinking - I try to spend as little time in there

as possible. But it is managable. It is good that people see that we are living just like them

Ou first few weeks were spent getting to know the area. I live in a township called Rentals, just about 15 minutes from the market, with another market just close by, which is really handy. The area is nice, with lots of families, and everyone is friendly, although I do feel like the town freak. Everybody stares and wants to greet me. I get followed a lot, either by men or children. Even a guy of about 18 wanted to shake my hand as he had never met a white person before. The township pump is the place where I seem to have caused the most commotion, the idea of the white girl fetching water seemed to tickle everyone. Hopefully everyone will get used to me soon and I will stop being such a novilty.

The only problem about living in town is that our school is an hours walk away, and we have yet to be provided with bikes. This means that sometimes we have to leave home at 5.30am to get to school on time. And morning preparations are very slow here, clothes ironed, hair brushed into place, long bathing sessions, meaning wake up is somewhere around 4.30, so by 8.30pm I really am ready to bed. Not that there is much to do after dark.

My birthday was enjoyable, if not a little different from being back home - memories of cup cakes seems distant. Above are some photos of the day. I went to a teacher's house to bake a cake, which they had never done before. It was pretty much perfect, until it set on fire in the oven. Some things never change, I will never be a master chef. But we managed to rescue it, and it actually tasted pretty good.

The walk to school was lovely, we left before dawn and saw the sun rise, gave an assemble message and taught grade 6 (none of whom speak more than basic English, so I felt I was there for mainly entertainment purposes). In the afternoon we ate corn, chilled out in the sun and walked the dusty lanes of Mumbwa. The life of Zambia.

School has been interesting. It is fairly small, but very disorganized, with few groups, clubs or activities, so hopefully we can work with teachers and pupils to introduce some. The main problem is that for most of last week school was closed. The incident really opened my eyes to the realities of life here in Zambia and the scale of the problems the country faces. On Monday one 5 month old twin of a male teacher died, and was buried the same day. The mother was critically ill, and was in a further away village with her family, and did not even know. On Wednesday we heard the wife had also died the previous evening, of HIV related TB. I was told that both the husband and wife were positive, but the wife had not been taking medication for some reason. Instead of being taken to the hospital she had been taken home, further away from any facilities. Two days of mourning and wailing women really forces you to consider the situation here, especially when it affects the people you work with so directly. This male teacher is our support teacher, he is friendly, intelligent and involved with the AIDS Action Club and events. But he also has a mistresss and child in the north of Zambia, something he doesn't hide. There seems to be nothing wrong culturally with this behavoiur, but it is tearing the country apart in front of our eyes. Its devistating.

Coming back to Kabwe for a few days has let me enjoy a bed, shower and proper toilet for a few days, and let me destress on the frustrations I have in placement.

But for now its back to the bush until April.....

2nd place as Mr SHEP

End of Training

Free time teaching some national vols to swim

My partner Eunice

This week has been good, we have found where we are going, I am off to Mumbwa in the south of Central Province, about 4 hours drive from Kabwe. Other than that I know very little about where I am going, but I'll find out soon as I'm off on Monday.

Hilight of the week has been the Mr and Mrs competition, where we all had to cross dress and then compete in a dancing competition. And guess what - I came second! Everyone keeps asking me to teach them to dance - hilarious!

Today I am off shopping, trying to buy everything me and my partner need to set up house with just over 7 pounds - which is proving tricky. I thing I will try and pack some emergency jam and crackers supplies into my pack....

Week of the Shits

Not that my week has been truely awful, just that it has been marked by a stomach bug hitting all of the SPW camp and taking a good 20% of volunteers from training each day. After 4 days of lying in bed, several 'Zambian' remedies shoved in my face, which mainly included nishima and chicken bones, a trip to a stern Indian doctor and 12 pills a day later, full recovery has been made. Everyone assures me once you have been ill you won't get it again, so fingers crossed.

I missed most of this week due to lying in bed, but fortunatly managed to recover in time for two days of sport with the Sport in Action team. They were all dressed in Durham bailey stash from Durham volunteers, which was crazy to see all the way out there. They were so excited when I told them it was where I went to uni. After some quite heavy rainfall we spend the two days chasing balls (and each other) round a muddy field, much which is proving quite difficult to wash out. The day also proved to be embarassing for me during a discussion on 'appropriate' women's clothing. I was wearing shorts for 'sportts day', and someone asked what the boys felt about me wearing shorts. After a long discussion, during which I was standing at the front, it was decided that it was ok because I was white, and white people are not attractive.
Team Durham in Zambia

The other entertainment of the week was my solo dancing in front of the other 95 volunteers. Dancing is HUGE in Zambia, and so every night there is some kind of complusory singing and dancing. Although I try just to follow what everyone else is doing I always seem to be dragged up to the front by one person or another, while everyone is shouting "Asula", and forced to throw some moves. Nobody here seems to get embarrassed, even if they are really rubbish. We had a 'talent' show, which demonstrated a few average rappers, an awful singer, and a lot of people miming along to Zambian pop. That my talent was dancing says it all.

Yesturday we got paired up and told which school we are going to. I have been paired with Eunice, who has uncontrollable amounts of energy, speaks like a gangster and dances like Beyonce. I think we will get on just fine. We are going to Mumbwa district, about 5 hours drive from Kabwe, where I am now to a basic school, teaching grades 5 to 9. I just can't wait til Sunday when we'll be off.

I'm also starting to notice some very strange things which are entirely normal in Zambia.
Even the most fashion conscious person sees nothing wrong with wearing socks and flip-flops (or jandals as my NZ friend would say).
Its also acceptable to wear a shower cap in the rain, its almost impossible to keep a straight face when talking to someone in a shower cap in the dinner line.
Wigs and weaves are also freaking me out, people's hair is always at a strange angle, or too far back, which also makes it difficult not to stare.
Its not rude to play your ring tone on repeat at midnight or 5am, even if someone is obviously trying to sleep
Personal space is also a foreign concept, girls seem to find it normal to pull down your top to check what colour breasts I have, and then make some comment that I have basically non-existent
boobs. Talk about a self-confidence boost!
Electrics are not handled with care. If you want to switch the lights off, just take out the light bulb. While in the middle of a session we were told not to raise our hands too high as there were live wires hanging above our heads. And a bucket of water is perfect for securing the wires to the projector.
Everything stops for the rain
The name Ursula is an impossible concept, so I will arrive home believing my name begins with an A.

Visiting Nora's family

Well, first two weeks in Zambia, and I have survived so far. The weather is hot hot hot, and the rain that is supposed to come every afternoon to cool us down is rare. Global warming....

After a long flight, where the guy next to me told me his life story from Heathrow to Kenya we were met at Lusaka by the SPW team and the dog bus. This absolutly made the journey. All the way through Lusaka we were greeted, with people running alongside the bus and jumping up. What a welcome.

After we met with the other international volunteers from New Zealand, we headed (once again in the dog) to Kabwe, in Central Zambia. Here we were treated to hours of Bemba lessons (muli shani - bwino - how are you?) and time to settle in. By the end of the first week we moved to the other side of town to join with the other 91 Zambian volunteers. The prospect was quite daunting as being a white person here is pretty rare and we get noticed wherever we go. No being able to sneak out of training sessions....

I have to admit this week has been difficult. Most people seem to have a list of questions they want to ask a white person, or msungo, which range from my favourite colour, to if my hair is real. Once these have been answered the conversation seems to be pretty much over. But at the same time everyone is friendly, and I have got on really well with some of the ex-vols who are slightly older. I think the main problem is that they just see me as a scary white person who they can't talk to. Zambian's main activities seem to consist of singing, dancing and praying, and as I'm not proficient at any of these, I must seem to them to be very strange. Dancing is a daily activity, and the volunteers love forcing me up onto the stage to dance in front of everyone, which is quite embarassing. I have to work on the African hip shake!

This morning two friends, Cleophas and Nora, took me to their house to meet their family and feed us, which was lovely. The parents and sisters where so excited to have us and so welcoming, which seems to embrace the spirit of Zambia.